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“Tell me something, I know I turned you on. Why didn’t you have sex with me?” Sheila’s concerned eyes blinked with curiosity.Her question was both delicate and dangerous. The wrong answer could do damage to our friendship, but I had no idea of what she thought the correct response should be. I followed my grandfather’s advice: “If all else fails, and you can’t think of a good lie, tell the truth.”I set my coffee down on the fireplace hearth, took Sheila’s hands in mine, and looked into her eyes as I spoke truthfully. “Your body said one thing, but your words were saying something different last night. I listened to the wishes of your body. You weren’t ready to be that intimate with me.”“True, but I would’ve consented if you had persisted,” she acknowledged, as she gave my hands a soft squeeze.“I figured you would allow intercourse if I pushed it. You would be resentful. Nevertheless, it would be a lousy start to our relationship. I would have selfishly screwed you to the floor if I. It’s what I would tell myself. But I’m not going to be that guy, who services his straight friend. No, I promised myself when I came out to myself that sex was always going to be quid pro quo for me.” Jake didn’t entirely understand the welter of emotions in his chest as he listened to Elf’s speech. Guilt at having, however fleetingly, considered the prospect of using his friend for one-sided relief; anger at his friend for having jumped to that conclusion; confusion about his sudden, powerful desire. For when Elf had said I would love to suck your cock, Jake’s cock had responded in spite of him, and now it strained against jeans, so hard it was almost painful. “What if…” he started to say and trailed off, unable to look at Elf. “What if… what if it was quid pro quo?” He took a deep breath. “What if it was me who wanted to practice?” Elf did not reply for a long few moments, and when Jake was finally able to glance over at him, his friend’s face wore an inscrutable expression. He.
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