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She is so very fragile and vulnerable, and itbreaks my heart to see her sad. It would be easier if I could truly hateher, but I can't. I love her with every fiber of my heart. But I don'ttreat her like I love her. I keep her locked away, out of sight, in thedark. Where no one can see her, and no one can hurt her, but she can'treally live like this. She wants to feel the sun on her skin, and shareher smile and warmth and love with the world. She wants to make friends,and have people to talk to and play with. She just wants a normal life andI can't give it to her. The world is a sharp, cruel place with many teethand things that gnash and tear. The world will eat her alive, brutalizeher, destroy her. In here she is safe. Safe and locked away from the world- and from any chance of salvation.I tried ignoring her, letting her starve. I locked the door and ignoredher and tried to forget she was down there, to convince myself I hadimagined the whole thing. It didn't work. She's resilient,. It has outstanding views of the lake and the neighborhood. We had some delicious pasta with pork and biscotti for desert. Joan looked stunning, both elegant and sexy. She was wearing her new lace corset and a long black sexy skirt. The skirt had long slits up the front and back and sides. The corset was black, in two layers. The layer underneath that could be seen was a transparent black silk; the outer garment was lace with lots of cutout designs. The waiter kept peeking at Joan's breasts through the cutouts. Every time I looked at Joan I was lost in love. She talked to me and all I could do is look into her eyes. After dinner we made our evening plans. We went to the Gold Star Sardine Bar. It's about three blocks from our hotel. The place lives up to it's Sardine Bar name in that it is very small and quite intimate. It has a legal occupancy limit of 50. They regularly exceed the limit. Many entertainment greats have performed there. It was quiet when we got there. I knew from.
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