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“Oh, and she specializes in the longsword.”I’m not cruel, after all. This way she has a greater chance of finding a great magic weapon (and wielding it in my name).Oh, and finally, the piece de resistance.“I also bear my family’s heirloom greatsword. It’s enchanted so a wizard can use it, but I don’t mind leaving it’s other magical properties up to you.”The duck.Every DM wants to maintain control of their game. But, also, most DMs don’t want to be assholes. So you put an obvious problem in your background for your DM to nitpick over, so they still feel in control. They don’t want to look bad, so they only remove or change one thing. But in reality, you don’t care, they discard the thing you want them to discard and the parts of your character that they’d reject normally, get approved.A stroke of genius if I do sa-“Okay, sounds good~ It’s your Heaven after all~”Wait, what?She didn’t even take out the duck? ... What the fuck am I going to do with a greatsword I have to drag. Sure, I could give him a few bare-bottom spankings, a little teasing, why not. He was a good husband?if a little perverted. But to lock up his junk? C’mon!But then Towlen suggested I talk to his brother Traddles’s ex-wife, Rethea. I was a little nervous, but finally I called her, and Rethea arranged that we have lunch at her house, and amazingly, there was Traddles, naked, except for an apron, serving up the scones and scrambled eggs and tea, and Milos, Rethea’s current husband was tea-ing with us, fully clothed?.And believe you me, there was more than one difference between the two husbands. Traddles was pudgy and bespectacled, and had lost most of his kinky hair?Milos was a handsome Greek?yes, quite easy on the eyes!?It was really interesting, Gertie, ?Rethea said, as she held her cup out to be filled with Earl Grey. ?I was quite amazed when Trad asked me to dominate him when we first married in ‘73m but by 1980, I’d gotten quite used to having this servile, cunt-lapping human bank.
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