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“God” it’s cold outside” I thought, knowing I had to get to my car with it coming down. I then opened the door of the storage room to the hallway, slowly I peered out and down to the stairwell from where I had come. it was quiet, not a sound I could hear of anything. Now closing the door behind me with little noise, straightening my clothes and touching up my hair in case I would run into anyone on my way out. Slowly walking down the hallway, it seemed eerie being this way as compared to all the noises which fill it during the day. Reaching the first floor that eerie feeling still with me while I made my way pass the teachers lounge to the office and finding the door unlocked and myself relived that I could get my things and get the hell out of there. I quickly put on my coat, grabbed my purse and made my way to the side entrance while reaching for my keys in my purse, only to be stopped as I pressed the bar on the door to open it, finding it locked. “Shit”, I said to myself, “Now. The world’s smartest man just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack!”The following items are compliments of J & B.After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them that Her Majesty’s Army had committed to reward each of the three soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different parts of the man’s body.The commander addressed the first soldier, “Where would you like to be measured, Sergeant?”“From the tip of me head to the soles of me feet, Sir!”, he replied.“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of 7000 pounds.The second soldier was asked, “What about you, Corporal?”“Between the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!”, the corporal said.“Very good!”, replied the commander. The corporal, a man of considerable wingspan, was rewarded 8000 quid.Finally,.
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