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I handed the bottle back to Dani who took another drink before she handed the bottle back to Trish, who did the same.“So why don’t y’all have boyfriends?” I nonchalantly inquired.“Because we’re bitches,” Trish shot back.“Speak for yourself,” Dani retorted.Trish offered me the Crowne and I politely declined.“I was speaking for myself,” Trish replied to Dani’s comment.“No, I’m serious,” I pressed.“I haven’t found the right guy,” Trish replied.“What’s the right guy?” I asked.“One that can keep up with me, likes to drink and is good in bed,” Trish said.“Do you prefer to be on top or the bottom?” I asked.Trish looked confused by my question.“When you fuck,” I clarified, “do you prefer to be on top or the bottom.”Now it was Dani’s turn to be embarrassed. She covered her mouth with her hands and turned about four shades of red.“I don’t really have a preference,” Trish replied. “I leave it up to the guy.”Trish offered me the Crowne a second time. I took it and pretended to take a drink. I. "She sent me a telegram last week, Your Honor. In it she said she'd decided to stay up at the North Pole. She said she met this really sensitive guy named Rudolph and was going to stay up there with him forever."But that's really okay with me, because Donni's better in the sack than Daisy ever dreamed of being."Now there's a really odd person, I thought. I wouldn't be surprised to see him sent packing back to the assembly room.*****"Anyone else?" asked the judge.The man in front of me, juror number four, raised his hand."Yes. Mr. Borsows." Last summer, my cousin and her husband took a cruise to some exotic island in the Mediterranean."When they came back after several weeks, she was a boar and he was a sow. But it didn't seem to bother either of them at all. And, as I always, if something doesn't bother the people it happened to, then it sure as hell doesn't bother me."Besides your honor, if you toss out the switch of genders, it wasn't really much of a change for either of them. My.
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