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I avoid commitments. I tense up when things get real. I build the walls up around me even thicker. I don’t admit feelings, I deny their existence. I don’t fall in love because I don’t want to feel the pain of being hurt. Six months is a long fucking time for me.He’s my Dom, my Daddy, my Sir, my boyfriend and my rock. He’s allowed me to feel and be me. He doesn’t judge me for my faults. He loves me for them. He’s been the first person to breakdown my wall…hell he shattered it.As many of you already know, I am in a triad. The Giant’s other sub/girlfriend (la la) and I have really been able to bond and connect. The dynamics of my relationship with her are complicated. I am submissive to her…but I am not her sub. There’s sexual attraction and energy between us and she and I play quite well with each other and with Him. See? Complicated is good. But, because of an insane workload, I have not gotten to spend much time with her and we really haven’t been able to work out a group night with. I had been pressed into service as babysitter for them. Besides, he’d just bought a 45 inch LCD, on which I thought I’d catch the Wimbledon finals. Nidhi opened the door and led the way into the lounge, but there was no sign of Abhishek. I assumed that he was upstairs and would be down when he was ready. Nidhi sat on the sofa and watched me playing with Tanya, their 7 year old daughter for a few moments.“I’m sorry; Shaunak, but we’ve ruined your evening for nothing.” Nidhi apologized. “What’s wrong?” I asked, concerned.Nidhi said nothing, for a moment, just sat on the sofa with tears running slowly down her face to lane, wetly, on the shiny silk of her robe. I went over and, putting Tanya on the floor, sat on the sofa next to her. I slid an arm around her shoulders and held her as sobs wracked her body. I tried desperately hard not to think of the way her slender body felt through the thin material, or the way she smelt as she leaned against me. Gradually, she calmed down a little.
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