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He had decided to go to thestate university because of scholarship money. He was going to be Pre-Law. I had said my "girlfriend goodbye" the night before in theapartment. I had to be careful as we left because I was his "sister" toeveryone there. I heard a couple of the guys from his dorm talking tohim and teasing him about inviting me up. I got in the car with Stacyand Tom and we headed home. I called them "mom" and "daddy" now.I started school that week too. I had PE classes 2 times a week thatfall and it was 8th period so I didn't have to deal with showering etc.Besides my little "clit" was still shrinking and my testes were aboutthe size of peas. I was asked to try out for the Cheerleading squad andeven though I was a sophomore, I got selected. It was apparent that Iwas one of the most popular girls at school after the first week. In thethird week of school, we had our first football game of the year againstour rival. This happened to be my old high school. We had a pep rallyand. I was so desperate, Tony. When I realized what I’d signed, I tried to charm him out of it. I offered to buy him out of it. The only way ... I offered myself.” Kate cried and held herself to me. I was so angry I couldn’t even put my arms around her.“You told me he forced you.”“He did. But it was my fault. The first time he kissed me I realized I’d made a mistake. I was so overwhelmed with self-loathing that I froze. He kept going and I started to fight him off. I said, ‘No. I can’t do this.’ He just kept pulling my clothes off. I pushed and scratched, but I couldn’t get away from the constant hammering in my head that this was what I deserved. I deserved to be humiliated and raped. I deserved everything he did. I hated myself. You think I deserved it, too.”I managed to bring my hands up to Kate’s shoulders and tried to hold her. She pushed herself away from me.“I understand what Wendy felt when she went back to Rafe. I understand why she felt that way. I understand what a terrible,.
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