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He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.A blond man shouts frantically into the phone“My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”“Is this her first child?” asks the Doctor.“No”, he shouts, “this is her husband!”A blond man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.The cop says, “That’s your air freshener swinging about!”A blond man’s dog goes missing and he is frantic.His wife says “Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?”He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing.“What did you put in the paper?” his wife asks.“Here boy!” he replies...A blond man is in jail ... Guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.“Just WHAT are you doing?” he asks.“Hanging myself,” the blond replies.“It should be around your neck” says the guard.“I tried that,” he replies, “but then I couldn’t. I was sitting watching TV late one Friday night, Mum and Dad had gone to bed hours ago, the front door closed behind a unhappy Pam."What's the matter?" I asked as she plonked herself down beside me."What is it with you guys? All they want to do is grope me," she said with a sigh. "I want sex as much as they do, but don't they understand that it's not acceptable even in this day and age." She paused for a few seconds then look at me."They all want to do is fuck anything in a skirt and then marry a virgin, well it's not bloody fair." I put a comforting arm around her."Sorry sis, it's just their hormones raging," I said."Yeah right," she said, "don't they understand that if I give in to them, my rep is shot, I'll be labelled a easy lay, a slut, oh fuck." She lay up against me for several minutes."What I want is a secret lover," she said somewhat brighter, "you know someone to satisfy me without everybody in this town knowing about it." Yeah," I said with a short laugh, "and what I want.
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