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She exuded goodness, the spirit of free enterprise and young Republicanism at its finest. He felt like he might need to throw up. He was not at all sure that he cared if she was in the way or not when the volcano erupted. ‘Go away kid, your bothering me!’ he barked hoarsely. ‘But Mister! Mr. King next door bought five and that nice girl Wendy across the street bought a whole dozen! Don’t you know that this is for charity?’ Her eyes were open as wide as the Chesapeake Bay. Her voice had a half pleading, half demanding tone. He realized that he really was going to throw up in a matter of seconds. ‘I don’t give a monkey’s butt what those chumps bought. GET OUT YOU LITTLE BEGGAR!’ He slammed the door in her face, and turned toward the bathroom. The robe fluttered behind his ghostly white body as he dashed forward. In his haste, slipped on a pile of greasy cheeseburger wrappers. His big, hairy feet went out from under him, sending him airborne for severally yards, before landing flat on. They must have been four cup sizes up from what they had been. They werethe breasts of a porn star."Oh wow! That's a mighty fine pair of tits you got there, Jessie!" Shelaughed."That's not funny! Turn them back!" No, I think I like them as they are now. You will undoubtedly make moretips this way. You're welcome."I let out an exasperated weep."Oh, it's ok. You'll get used to them. And your boyfriend loves them."My eyes widened."My what?!" Oh yeah. I wish you and Jeff were head over heels in love with eachother."Another flash.This time, I initially couldn't feel anything different, but I knewbetter at this point."You can't do that. It's unethical. It's-" Don't worry. Your relationship has been signed off by the company. Justenjoy it. Not everyone gets this kind of happiness." But I didn't ask for-" Here comes your beau now!"Jeff walked out of the toilets, elbow length rubber gloves on. It hit melike a tonne of bricks. It was like a cartoon where little angels flyaround. My heart.
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