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“Why did you think I might have a heart attack?” I asked. “Yes, I have a bit of a beer belly, but I’m in fine health. I’d have told you if there were any issues.”“You were just in there so long, and you were so quiet,” she said.“I guess I was just woolgathering,” I said.“At first I thought maybe you were doing something else, but I put my ear to the door and there was no noise.”“You put your ear to the door?” I could feel blood rushing into my face. Not only had she just opened the door while I was sitting on the pot, she’d listened through the door before that?Détente or not, she needed to be corrected.Before I could do that, my brain caught up with my ears.“You thought I was doing something else?” I stared. I started to ask what else one could do in a bathroom that had no bathing facilities (don’t get me started on whether it should be called a bath-room, or a rest-room, or a wash-room or a lavatory) but she interrupted me.“I thought you were ... you know.”No, I didn’t know.“You. That was always very difficult when I was younger, but later I came to enjoy it, learning the best shops to go to, making sure I used the ones where ladies served. In those early years I obviously couldn’t put my mac on to go in the shop next to where I worked, as people from work would likely see me and that would be that. But later wearing my mac and perv gear to go and buy lots of mags was one of the things I loved most. But in the early days it was so difficult seeing a mag with a lovely bare girl on the cover and desperately needing to own it, but having to run the gauntlet of all the people in the shop. It was only ever by chance seeing what I needed to see. I mean, I never spied on girls like some voyeurs – I don’t need to see girls undressed to get my sex pleasure, it was enough to see fully-dressed, sexy-dressed girls at work or walking down the street. But of course, wherever I went, I just had to wait, and wait and wait, in the hope of seeing girls walking along. One place.
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