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I was excited, of course, to be going off to college, even aside from the prospect of being with Shana again. Just as we arrived I got a text from Jason. MISS YOU ALREADY.MISS YOU TOO, I texted back. It was true, but I felt like shit knowing it was less true for me than for him.We unloaded my stuff first, at one of the freshman dorms, then unloaded Kelly at a dorm for upperclassmen across the quad. Shana was in Kelly’s dorm, too, though on a different floor, and I thought with pleasure -- not for the first time -- how great it would be that she had a single room.Once Kelly and I were settled we all went out for an early dinner. When my parents dropped us off to head home, my mom kept dabbing her eyes with a tissue, my little sister cried openly and my dad kept swallowing hard and looking away. Kelly was dry-eyed, but I felt like crying, too. Somehow I managed to keep my shit together.As soon as they were gone Kelly turned to me and smiled slyly.“Go ahead, I know you're dying to see. “Are you sure?” he asks, tucking himself back inside his underwear.“Sure he’s sure,” says my love cheerily, trying to reduce his trepidation. She looks up into his eyes. “You’ll like me.” A white flash of searing ice in my mind.He almost laughs then catches himself, knowing that might not be the right message to send. He’ll like her alright.She extends her hand so that he might help her stand.Let’s skip the charades. You’re seeing right through me anyway.I can see the milkiness of her thighs and stomach as she stands upright. The shadows hide her pubic region. I briefly consider eating her before sending her up, but remind myself to save it for later. We’ve both learned that my unfulfilled lust quickly ignites into a violent storm. And she likes cowering from it. If things go well she could be fearing for her life.“I just don’t want there to be...” he pauses, expecting me finish his sentence.I don’t do it. I glance at her breasts, remembering the first time I saw them, tumbling out of.
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