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I don’t. I don’t even know why, cause I really want to, guess I just want to see if I can gain some control. I couldn’t.I guess that’s me trying to obtain some pride. But then in a matter of seconds he stripped me of my clothes, he tied his belt around my neck so tight I could barely swallow and fastened my hands to it. My wrists met my shoulder blades in a not so gentle way. Somehow I still felt like I had some control, like he was manipulating me into being scared, like he was testing me, and I him. I wouldn’t cave, I’ve never caved! With my hands fastened so that I couldn’t use them without choking I still felt like I had control. I was wrong.I was on my knees in his sofa with my head high and my wrists pulled as far back and up my back as they can come. Honestly I can’t remember if it was one of my remarks that made him throw me of the couch and on to the floor ore if he just had an impulsive moment. But anyways, suddenly I’m finding myself trying to meet the floor. .so what would I do these next few days ? the more I thought the more depressed I became, and now it was going dark on the worst Christmas eve ever. I'd just poured a very large Scotch with a view to getting 'stoned' and sleeping my way through the festive season when the front door bell rang. "Hell ! what are you doing here - and you're soaked through." It was my brother, "Mum and Dad's gone on holiday - you know - here's a towel..dry yourself....where's Susan?" He sat down and I gave him one of dad's beers: "Susan's with another guy! she's found herself another man.....I've seen photos of him...I've even seen photos of her in bed fucking him!" He broke down in tears and I, too shocked at first just sat there open mouthed. Susan, I thought.....definitely no 'oil painting'...in fact I could never understand what my brother Steve saw in her. Yet on the other hand, Steve was so good looking, worked out regularly at the Gym, had a good body -.
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