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It was so good to have you back with me, even for a short time. You were sloppily dressed for staying in, no makeup. Jeans and an old sweater of mine. You like to wear my sweaters, and that is a joy to me; afterwards, when you take it off I can hold it, I can smell your perfume, your soap, your skin odour, and it’s as though I’m inside you once again, part of your body, though I have a dreaded fear that a fully satisfying coupling between us may not happen again. You will decide.When you’re away from me I can handle and smell your clothing too, your delicate underwear. It’s my way of being with you even if you’re absent.And yes, dear Alika, I masturbate into your slips, your bras, your night T-shirt. Whatever you choose to give me each morning, always knowing, understanding and accepting my needs, without questioning. You know not to give me a slip with someone else’s semen stains. Lonely masturbation is not what I want for the best, but I can imagine you’re here with me. Covering. We kissed, drank some wine to celebrate and kissed some more. She was getting better at it, but still needed a lot of practice.When I touched her breast, she jerked back. "What are you doing?" she yelled moving away."What do you mean? You're my girlfriend and you're supposed to let me touch you. I don't mind if you touch me." I don't like it," she added crossing her arms over her chest."Come on, Heather, don't be like that. Loosen up, here, have some more wine." Take me home," she demanded, standing."Heather, why are you acting like that? You know I really like you and want to be your boyfriend. And I think you like me, don't you?" I asked and waited for her answer. "Don't you?" I had to repeat before she slowly nodded. "Well, if you like me and I like you, what's the big deal? People do that when they like each other." I don't, uh, like to be touched like that."I frowned at her. "I thought you were different, Heather. I didn't know you were going to be like this. If I had known.
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