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These are compliments of Paul H.An older man was speeding down the road at 80 mph when he looked in his rearview mirror and saw a Texas Highway Patrol car coming with its lights flashing and siren blaring. Thinking he could outrun the trooper, the man speeded up to 100 mph. Suddenly, he realized his foolishness and pulled over to the side of the road and stopped.The trooper pulled up, walked up to the car and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes and it’s Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”The man looked at the trooper and said, “Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper and I thought you were bringing her back.”The trooper replied, “Have a nice day.”While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck.I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.I told her that if she didn’t start behaving. For now, at least. All former DC Guard and police units, including Capitol Police, answer directly to you. Scour the city for all traces of any former leaders of the old regime, so they can be brought to me and I can decide their fates. Enforce an oath of allegiance among the troops, but also encourage the purchase and wearing of the black armbands.“Accept anyone aged fourteen and above willing to serve, too. Don’t be too choosy, my friend. Establish a hacker division, too, to help shut down our foes on the web. Especially the dark web. Geeks and nerds are very useful to our cause. Create barracks wherever we can put them and emancipate them from parental authority if they are inducted into our armed and police forces. Any success on the other fronts, by the way?” I asked aloud as I put Candice on the bed with a slap to enter her from behind.“Well, we’ve cleaned up the capital of any last incel thugs and their compatriots and offered them a choice between fealty to your government.
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