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A new century was on the way and I was eager to start my adult life. I felt good about myself, I was fit, a keen swimmer and footballer with hardly an ounce of fat on me. My Mum said I was vain because I looked after my fingernails and didn’t need telling when to have a bath; very different to my older brother who had left home a year earlier, he was a scruff going through a hippy stage. I’d just been to see my girlfriend of the time, her name was Julie and she was the first and only person I’d had full on sex with. I was developing a healthy appetite for it and like most guys of my age, I thought of little else I knew however, that I was a little different from the people I'd grown up with, my masturbation fantasies had started to change. I thought about men as well as women when I did it. At first I felt ashamed of those fantasies, I had terrible guilt trips about the fact that my best and most explosive orgasms came when the scenario involved men, always older and tough looking. I was so upset that I hadn't realized the car had stopped and were sittingin the parking lot of Vintage Closet.My mother pulled a kleenex out of her purse and wiped away my tears, butfor every tear she wiped away, I cried a new one. "I can't go in thestore like this," I said."Its okay, Honey. We can just sit here and talk until you're up to it." But I don't know if I can talk about it without crying. I don't knowwhat to do Mom. I'm so scared. Its like I don't know who I am any more." Yes you do," my mother said. "You know who you are and you know whoyou're meant to be. You're a middle aged woman stuck in a teenage boy'sbody, but we're going to fix that. It won't be long until you're a realwoman just like me." I want that so much Mom." I know you do sweetie and I want it for you too." But I'm so afraid I'll mess up and do the wrong things. I don't know howto be a woman for a man. What if I mess up or I'm not good at it?" First of all, this isn't a race," my mother said. "You.
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