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‘Boo!’ Anthony stepped back with a chuckle, making room for his first pair of guests, Mr. and Mrs. James Polk. One of the most infamous food critics of the late twentieth century, Polk had once offered the following unique appraisal of Anthony’s skill in the kitchen: ‘I will forever be happily resigned to the fact that I shall never have anything detrimental to say about Mr. Leach. He takes culinary risks others would shy from, yet masters them with unique aplomb.’ Polk and his wife were nearly of Anthony’s advanced age, but they had entered into their sixties with graceful aplomb. Dietitians and plastic surgeons were, of course, to be thanked for that. The dutiful Mrs. Polk offered a hand glittering with diamonds and other gemstones for the master chef, who kissed her fingers politely. ‘I can always count on you to maintain the spirit of the season,’ Anthony remarked as his first guests entered the house. He set the miniature jack-o-lantern on the secretary within the hall. Polk. I put it on in the hotel, did a work meeting and then set off on my 4+ hour journey, sending the pictures to prove I was wearing it, as instructed. All was normal (?) until I had an "encounter" on the underground, as usual it was packed, warm and horrible (I wouldn't want to commute on there in the summer every day!) An older guy quickly moves next to me, at a station stop (Bank) facing me, a little too close if you know what I mean, I had one arm up holding a bar to stop me falling over etc and one holding my rucksack on my right shoulder, I'm in the corner where there is just a single door and the carriages connect, he kept bumping into the front of me, at first it was just with train stopping and starting at stations etc. Then it definitely wasn't!! Awkward... At a next station it got even busier, he got nearer, and then left his hand there, then he waited until people got off and then leaned into the side of me and then he whispered "is that what I think it is?" F***! I was so.
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