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Basically what it boiled down to is I said allof about three words at dinner, which was completely unlike Alana at alland had everyone worried for me, which is exactly the kind of attention Ididn't want to draw to myself until I had things more figured out.And I wasn't anywhere close to figuring anything out. I had at leasttaken the step to back up Alana's hard drive in case I did want to tryanother magic software reboot, but the whole concept of that just seemedmore and more absurd to me. As I lay awake in bed last night, strugglingto fall asleep with thoughts swirling in my head, I couldn't help butthink that the most likely scenario was that I'd suffered some kind ofmassive mental break due to all the stress in my life - that I'd beentrying to avoid a mental institution, when in reality that's exactlywhere I needed to be.I was in a dark place. I looked like it too. I was wearing black fromhead to toe - a D&G lace sleeveless blouse, a matching skirt and leggingsif you must know -. Adult men get nervous around me and I have seen more than a few become aroused during examinations. I ignore it and both the patient and I get through it easily. If they comment on it by apologizing I have many prepared things I say to calm them down and make them feel less embarrassment. In some cases it is a very good thing they have an erection depending on why they are there. One that jumps to mind was a man who was concerned he had erectile dysfunction and thought it might indicate a more serious problem. When he became erect during examination I smiled and said I think your cured. We laughed and I proceeded to finish the examination and made some diet recommendations and, yes, gave him a hard time about smoking.. if you will pardon the pun. The event that caused me to write this happened about five months after I started my practice. Mrs Walker had called and asked for an appointment for her son, Michael. The complaint at the time was abdominal pain. Michael had not been to.
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