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(a) Left the asshole. (b) Dropped him off at the turn of the 18th century. But, for all Mary is a sweetie, she is in charge.When David and Mr. Johnson returned to Pentwater, Johnson couldn’t get out of town and the presence of the Princess fast enough.David said, “Johnson is an asshole. You should send his papers to Washington and demand his recall.”“Where did you go?” I asked.“Twenty-two thousand years ahead,” he said.“Why?”“I wanted him to see what his wonderful country does to this world.”“What?”He showed me.When we got back, “Good Lord! That’s awful! What did he say?”“That we were ... you too ... were allied with Satan.”Junior exclaimed, “WHAT!?!”“The only way you could possibly win the war ... to beat the greatest nation on earth ... was as one of Satan’s minions,” David told her.“Hold on there, slick ... there was a war? This isn’t the United States? What is the Fed A and where is America?” I wanted a reasonable answer ... before my brain popped.“Ask her, the General Admiral of. Something that I had only seen pictures of. An English Phaeton. You could almost imagine the king and queen being carried down the county fair parade. Pulled by a matched pair of blacks. It was dusty and dirty and needed a lot of TLC.“These are the quads,” Carl called me over to the doodlebug go-carts. “We used to use them around the farm. But then dad bought the UTV. That’s the heavy lifter nowadays.” He then walked me over to the dune buggy. “It helps out a lot if we need to move a lot of things into the backcountry. It took us a while, but we’ve got trails all through the ranch. You can do anything with a quad that can be done with a horse.”It was difficult, but I stopped myself from laughing. “If you say so, son. Me, myself, I prefer horses. Have you ever rigged a buckboard? Or a surrey? You might want to learn. Sometimes young women can get downright giddy about a midnight surrey ride. Or a horse-drawn picnic down by the swimming hole. Not to mention a buckboard hayride some.
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