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So how did I manage to climb the ladder backwards, from the lofty heights of fame and fortune, to my present situation? Well I'll tell you, since you obviously want to know, but I'm gonna have to make this quick, my break is only so long after all.First off Models and photographers should never fall in love, too many egos and creative juices in the same place is too potent a mixture to last for very long. And there's simply too much temptation on both sides. But conventional wisdom to the contrary, that's what happened. Right after my first Vogue cover my agency set me up to do a shoot for Glam Rag with the hottest photographer on the planet at that time and now, Eric Dickerson. Well he was Eric Dickerson then, now everybody knows him as Gringo.From the first time we laid eyes on each other it was love at first sight. I don't mean he just wanted to take my pictures; it was true love, and we both fell hard. On the business side, Eric had a way of bringing out the very best of me. He. It was six months later that the final straw fell on the camel's back, the straw that would eventually break Bob.It started when he asked a girl named Melanie out on a date. She was a sergeant who worked at the Army Post Office. He had tried, one night, to blot out Gwyneth's image from his mind while he masturbated, and think of someone else. It hadn't worked. He'd gone soft. Instead of emptying his balls that night, he filled his stomach. With peppermint schnapps. And he'd been late to formation the next morning.When a squad leader is late to formation, things don't go well. True, he was only thirty seconds late, but when the first sergeant bellows, "Fall in," then approximately thirty seconds later, there should be no movement of any kind in the ranks. And Bob arrived thirty seconds after that. His assistant squad leader had taken his place in the formation, of course, so all he had to do was step into the last position in the line of men that was his squad. If you've never been in.
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