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I will be whatever he wants me to be because I’ve accepted, resigned myself to the fact that it’s all I can have out of this relationship, nothing more or nothing less. I have so much pride and I don’t give up easily, I am telling myself that I won’t lose him. I cannot bear to think if I did that part of me will be lost with him and I will never be able to retrieve it again should we part ways. I know that I will never want another relationship with another man if this has concluded. All this passion, my sensuality will wither up and die and will never resume again. I have discovered that life is so much like truth or dare that it isn’t even funny. You bare your soul in truth and to hell with the consequences. You dare to be the one person that you have always said you would be if absolutely necessary. You stand up and for your rights and never give in to what you believe in and you hold your ground. You want to tell him that yes you understand totally and will be his for an. Technically I wasn't lying about Ally either, since I had never mentioned her at all. In a way, I saw the whole thing merely as an advanced interactive sex-ed class. Not that this approach did anything to assuage my conflicted conscience, of course. I often wondered why the hell I even let it happen in the first place. The fact was, no matter how I looked at it, it made me feel bad. And guilty. A lot. Still, I kept my mouth shut. For good reasons, I thought.The last time (the only other time) that I sort of had a girlfriend, back during my senior year in high school, Didi was very encouraging and supportive and happy for me. On the surface, at least. I knew something was off, though. After me and Gina got together, Didi suddenly seemed skittish about joining me for our story time at night, finding excuses to be on her own in her room instead. Once I got home the night of my first date with Gina, which ended in an awkward make out session in my car, I was padding down the hall to get.
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