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• Velcro - what a rip off!• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.HOW MOSES GOT THE 10 COMMANDMENTSGod went to the Arabs and said, ‘I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.’The Arabs asked, ‘What are Commandments?’The Lord said, ‘They are rules for living.’‘Can you give us an example?’‘Thou shall not kill.’‘Not kill? We’re not interested... ‘So He went to the Blacks,The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, ‘Honour thy Father and Mother.’‘Father? We don’t know who our fathers are. We’re not interested.’He went to the Mexicans, The Mexicans wanted an example - the Lord said ‘Thou shall not steal.’ ‘Not steal? We’re not interested.’He went to the French, They wanted an example and the Lord said, ‘Thou shall not commit adultery.’‘Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We’re not interested.’Finally, He went to the Jews and said, ‘I have Commandments... ‘‘Commandments?’ They said,‘How much are they?’‘They’re free.’‘We’ll take 10.’After closing time at the bar,. "Handyman Wang, are you ready to hang this artwork?" Hung? That's my specialty, ma'am." I'll bet. I need a big strong man to do some ... nailing." Happy to nail you, ma'am." Do you have a big hammer, Mister Wang?" It's big and hard. Can't do the job if it isn't." Ooh, big and hard. Good."I put the nail in the wall, and the room definitely looks better. I wonder if we're about to run to the bedroom after this relatively minor role-play - heck, I'd go now - but she switches to her normal voice and asks me to come to the kitchen, where a couple of cabinet hinges need tightening.The voice comes back: "I need a different handyman for this job. Someone who can really ... drive ... a screw." Then she giggles, "Maybe I have a couple screws loose." Charming, ma'am, you just might have a couple screws loose. Handyman ... er, Cox, here for you. Happy to drive them in for you, ma'am." Cox? Is that plural?" No, ma'am, just one Cox."She adopts a pouty look as I get to work tightening the.
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