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. I just don't want to lose my friend. I'm so sorry. Shit! Shit shit shit shit shit! I have ruined this beyond repair and now he thinks it's his fault. I'm so fucking stupid what did I do?I wrote back a hurried response assuring him that it was okay, and that it wasn't his fault. I kissed him. I told him we could be adults about this and that I still really wanted to have him as a friend and that I was really happy he took me out. What I didn't tell him was that I was super confused. That all the feelings I had kept buried inside had just come rushing up uncontrollably.I didn't tell him how he was my friend and that all those jokes weren't jokes, that I was serious, but I didn't want it like this. I didn't want to break up with someone and just rebound and ruin a friendship. We decided to meet up again tomorrow and to hang out and just forget that yesterday had ever happened.That next day we decided to go hiking at a local national park. He had a car already, so he picked me up and. The only difference was I had experienced it all before, but from theother, less green, side of the fence.I also found myself wondering what kind of realtionship I might have withher as an adult. Would we remain close? What might my future husband andchildren think of her?Finally, I discovered an old photo album. As I opened the pages and saw theblack and white snapshots carefully preserved, I remembered that mommy wasreally almost a century old. Although magic had given her back her youth,she had lived at a time so remote as to seem almost like ancient history tome.As I looked through the book, I realized I had no idea what mommy had lookedlike as a young girl or woman. Had she just restored her youth, or had shegiven herself an idealized body?It soon became clear that the latter was the case. The girl identified inthese ancient pictures as my mommy, was, to put it charitably, ugly. She hadbeen born with a cleft palate and crossed eyes, and even though surgery hadcorrected those.
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