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And for Dr. Crumholtz to apologize to me afterwards? This would have been a dream, except the exhaust fumes wafting in through the dashboard vents were all too real.Maybe it was getting stuck next to the sporting goods store with lycra-wearing female mannequins in the window, or the dark-haired young woman who jaywalked right in front of my car and stared at me as she passed by, but the memories of my first opportunity to play doctor as a grown-up came rushing back. It wasn't that long ago, during Annie's senior year when she was on the volleyball team. Annie had no idea she was setting me up.Annie had attended Samuel Morse High School. The boys' teams were all called The Dashes; the girls' teams The Dots. The phallic and clitoral analogies had long since played out in my mind. It was the last volleyball game of the year for the Morse Dots. It was Annie's last chance to play in a league game, having been a season-long benchwarmer. This game mattered since it was against the league. Hewalked around her, leering like a perverted old man as he wiped hishands on a filthy rag, taking in all her erotic glory as he occasionallyreached out to caress her firm exterior. He especially liked the leatherhe recently bought for her. Dark, imported, classy. Anything for his'Baby'.He walked over to the side of the garage and grabbed a discarded diaper,and lovingly began rubbing across her back. He resisted the urge to cooas he spread wax over her rear end, using long circular strokes. Thesoft whine of the wax and diaper against her recent paint-job was musicto his ears as he closed his eyes."Russell! Stop molesting that car and get in here!"The diaper flew into the air as Russell lost all composure. Even morefrightening than the slamming of the garage door as it suddenly flaredopen, was the angry voice of his wife. "Y-yes dear!" Russell stutteredas he quickly finished the wax spot on the back of his cherished blackand yellow custom 1970 Plymouth Duster, his 'Baby'.He walked.
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