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I never told anyone, because, who would you tell something like that? It seems like a great way to lose friends ... So I was really surprised last year when I was out with the girls one night, and one of them just turns round in the middle of the conversation and says ‘Has anyone else been watching this “United Kingdom of Zoo” thing ... It’s very strange ... Does anyone here want to try dogsex – I don’t know why, but it just looks so hot on the tele?!’. All my friends start talking to her like she’s mad – but I’m thinking the same as her, but I didn’t want to say anything, so I kept quiet. Afterwards when we were all out of the pub, I made sure I got a taxi home with her, none of the others, and I told her I had imagined fucking a dog too ... That’s all we talked about all the way home. We’ve met up a few times since, just the two of us, so we can talk about what we’d do with a dog ... What breeds of dogs we liked ... All that kind of thing ... We agreed that we’d both apply to come. He was brought here by me to assist us with our defences and he has carried this role out admirably, training us and turning us from a bunch of amateurs into a reasonably well disciplined and trained defences force in two months."At this Michelle left shouting, "We'll see about you being leader!"I was going to follow but Kelly stopped me. "Leave her. Nothing you do or say will change her mind. She still hasn't woken up to the realities of our situation." Fuck her," said Graham, "let's get this lot tidied away." No thanks," I replied, "I've seen the trail of men that've been there in the past." We both laughed but it was a hollow laugh, we were a bit upset by it all.As we were leaving Michelle appeared with another six people in tow and said, "Mark, we have no confidence in your leadership. We want you replaced."One of the others then said, "Michelle should be leader."Our group, Graham, Larry, Katie, Cheryl, Phil, Shaun and Dan, turned to face them. Michelle began hurling insults at.
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