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When you are finished our training will resume."'Oh god what the hell did they do to me? This is the nastiest stuff I have smelled come out of me in a long time. It is even worse than in the hospital, ' I thought as I waited to be sure I was done.'SHIT! Where the hell is the toilet paper and how am I supposed to know when I even get my ass clean?'"Beginner mistake David," the nurse said from over near the door. "Just as you would do when entering a restroom when you could see, you must seek out the toilet paper location before mounting the throne. I also caution you just to go ahead to sit down to urinate as you will be more likely than not find your shoes wet from trying to use a urinal. The toilet paper is on the wall to your right."Great ... This was that super cheap industrial stuff they use at school. I did the best I could to get all the poop off, but never quite felt that I was completely clean. The nurse said to keep doing it until I felt the paper only down there. It still. "Greek has no aitch," she said. "Words beginning with a vowel or 'rho' have a little comma over the top which indicates whether or not you pronounce the aitch sound."We arranged a time a couple of weeks hence for a first meeting and agreed that initially at least she would come to my little flat. I was relieved that she didn't turn up her nose at the place. I keep it clean and tidy, but it's very small and tucked away in the corner of the building. The view from the windows ... well, there isn't one.I made tea and found her perusing my bookshelves; which, I suppose was hardly surprising."It's a pretty eclectic mix," she commented."I'm just interested in all sorts," I said, "and I like books." You've got some George Eliot ... Jane Austen ... no Dickens." Depressing man," I said and she snorted."Lots of theology..."I shrugged, "I know what I believe but I like to be able to argue my corner." I set the tray down and we sat.The first few weeks she was all business. I made progress, though.
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