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I made money. I lived frugally. After five years of hormones and blockers, I had several plastic surgeries that brought my body in line with my mind. Now when I looked in the mirror, I saw a reflection of my mind's eye. I saw a beautiful woman. My lightened hair, my high cheekbones, my pouty lips, my long smooth neck, and my ample breasts all had been purchased by working hard at tax time.At twenty-five, I was the beautiful woman I had dreamed of becoming. While I had not had the ultimate surgery, I believed myself to be female. It was unfortunate that other people still believed my penis determined everything about me. I was not ready for that huge amount of surgical cutting and the post trauma of all that scar tissue.I did not require as much sexual activity as the average man or woman. The mix of chemicals in my body depressed my needs. I enjoyed sex but I could live without it and not feel depressed.Maybe tonight I'd get lucky.I could only troll at certain places. Not all bars. Sometimes during sex she'd whisper into my ear how hot she thought a guy was, making our fucking even more exciting.After 2 years in NYC I asked Jen to marry me. We were young (she was 23 and I was 26) but we'd been going out for years by that time, so we were both already committed by that point. But Jen didn't immediately say yes. She took my hands, looking nervous and serious. "I want to say yes, but first I have to tell you something. You remember Ricky?" I nodded and she paused, as if steeling herself. "After we agreed to stop with him ... well, one time after that, I had sex with him."My mouth went dry. "When?" I managed to say.She looked away from me, like she was too ashamed to look into my eyes. "At graduation," she answered. "He sat next to me and hit on me the entire time. So, well ... I went home with him." That day?" I asked, confused. I remembered them talking after the ceremony. But after that we were together the entire day. We found our parents and then went out to.
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