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. since my honeymoon. I think that's why I feel guilty; not because what I'm feeling is wrong – I don't think it is – but because these feelings should be reserved for Nick, my husband.Shit. I just re-read what I've written so far and I sound like a lying, cheating bitch. Even to myself. But I'm not ... at least, I've taken a long, hard look inside and I don't believe I am.What if someone reads this? What if Nick reads this? Holy crap, Nick, are you reading this, baby? I can picture it so clearly; I left this thing lying open, or you went looking in my drawer for my keys, or any one of a million other things that could put this in your hands. Maybe I got killed at work and you're sifting through my stuff, trying to make sense of the insensible, and this is what you find! Now I feel like an utter turd; part of me wants to tear out this page and burn the fucking thing.But I have to go on. I have to. Nick, baby, if you are reading this then please keep an open mind. Know that I love you.. We left out the fact that we were brother and sister and that Judy was pregnant. They both went to the doctor to make sure the babies were healthy. They both were good to go. Judy was due September 7th and Connie was due October 16th. A little close together and it was April at that point, so only so much time. But we didn't let the babies get in the way of wedding planning. It was Tuesday and we planned the wedding for that coming Saturday."Do you two want a big wedding cake? Or maybe something smaller," Connie asked."A big cake. Even if we don't finish we want some leftovers," Judy replied."Already than. I'm putting in the order now and it should be ready by Friday. So we'll pick it up on our way out to the church," Connie said."OK thanks for being our wedding planner," I replied."As if I was gonne give you a choice," Connie said."Good point. But have you ever been to a wedding besides our parents' wedding," Judy asked."A couple," Connie replied"OK then. Well is there anything else.
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