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The now. The incident and the event are real,but only as long as they happen, for memories, also, are unreal.Very well. Let me explain. Perhaps an example will help. My breasts arereal when their weight is in my hands--or yours. They have density, then;they are tangible; they are measurable. Unmistakably, they haveexistence. But, after the moment, when they are no longer held, they arejust ideas, nothing more than memories.Eva, my former love, says I am too philosophical: "too philosophicalfor your own good," she says. (She is not philosophical enough for herown good, I say.)Thom (is it pretentious to include the "h"? I maintain that it is; Thomor Tom insists it is not and tells me that I am a snob.)Only recently, I have begun to consider not only my breasts, but also mytesticles. They generate--or procreate--while my breasts nurture, but wecan't have the latter without the former (and, of course, eggs, which Icannot supply.)Semen is a mystery to me. I understand the science. Once, I. The soles of his feet, ghostlike relative to his dark chocolate skin, rested two feet apart. This allowed a clear view of his testicles. They amaze me – he’s big and yet they always seem disproportionately large. The bed creaks just a little as I climb up on the foot of it. And he sighs as he feels my stockings along the outside of his shins. He gives in to my subtle pressure, and lifts his testes and moves his legs together. I’m mesmerized by his beauty. I take his penis into my hand as I scale his body. He’s large, but not cartoonishly so. There is nothing cartoonish about us. His penis is 7.5 inches long and has the untapering thickness of a can of red bull. That thought makes me quietly laugh. In many ways he is my bull, but a gentle and loving one. It’s the head of his penis that captures my imagination. The wide swelling at the base slowly tapers to a narrow tip. He was made to find space where there is none, and that’s where he keeps me: balanced on the line between reality.
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