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“I know how they feel,” she said ruefully. Louise patted her hand as if they had had this conversation before.“John still in the UK?” I ventured, and she nodded.“I didn’t sign up to be a nun,” she sighed. There was a lull before she continued. “I’ve been reading about sex dating websites. They say they’re full of ordinary, nice people who just don’t have a regular sex partner like a husband or boyfriend, so they find someone suitable and just do it from time to time. Doesn’t even have to be the same person, just someone to ease the pain when it gets too bad.”“Sounds risky,” Louise said.“No riskier than conventional dating sites,” I offered. “Everybody’s got sex in the back of their mind. At least this way it’s more out in the open. And you still check people out before you meet them and then meet in a safe place. You just wouldn’t have to go through all the camouflage before you get down to it.”“You seem very well informed,” Louise interjected.“I know someone who’s tried it,” I. Songs would send me back to our time together and I'd remember something we did back then. Conversations would come up that would take me back and remind me of food we enjoyed or trips we took or even just time we spent together. Of course, movies would send my mind back to reminiscing, always remembering and enjoying the good parts of those dozen years we had together.There wasn't much I could do about it, though. We still had that distance between us. Our walls were up to protect us from the pain we felt that ended our relationship.I couldn't stop thinking about her, though. I'd get home from work and hope she'd be lying in my bed, waiting for me.She never was.She'd moved on. She was in a new relationship that she was fighting to keep. Of course, she missed some of the things we shared, but she was looking to a new future and I didn't want to lose her friendship so I didn't want to suggest anything untoward for fear of doing just that.I tried moving on, too. I found others to date.
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