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She slapped a bill on the bar and asked the bartender for two glasses of Chianti.The bartender looked at the two of us, probably noticing that I was most likely under the minimum drinking age of eighteen. He saw Kristen's stare, and he lowered his eyes and found that she placed a fifty-dollar bill on the bar. He took the bill and poured us our drinks.This wasn't the first time that I saw Kristen order something alcoholic, but it was the first time that I saw her sort of insist on it. Once we obtained our drinks, Kristen led me to a table in a dark corner."You look so nervous that you might just shake your clothes off," Kristen noted.I looked at the wine dubiously. Despite the fact that I was underage, I did not share most of my fellow teenagers' desires for a taste of the forbidden drink. My real father was a drinker, and I always associated his drinking with the behavior that caused him to leave my mother and me. The only alcoholic beverages that I drank were occasional tastes of. John of the Cross called the dark night of the soul. At the crisis point, some students will turn away, while others will confront their true selves.The martial arts are superficially a form of training to fight external foes. But the true martial artist must combat the enemy within—and if he is to prevail, he must fight without greed, ignorance or hatred. If he wins, then his internal demons can be harnessed into service of the good. Defeating self-deception is not a once-and-for-all battle. After one form of self-deception is defeated, a more sophisticated and insidious form may replace it. The psychological and spiritual struggle does not take place while a passive subject is lying on a psychother****ts couch, paying for advice. The inner combat is experienced through physical combat:Chuan Fa used the wordless strategy of direct interpersonal encounter to teach the words of personal self-encounter. It uses the words of personal self-encountering to understand the wordless doctrine.
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