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We parked up and knocked on the door. The lady we had spoken to opened the door, greeted us in a really friendly way and straight away, we felt like we were on the 'same level'. Very reassuring. Now both me and Mrs Pornman have both enjoyed very varied and full sex lives before we met, but going to a club like this was something new to both of us and we really didn't know what to expect. She showed us all around the huge house where the club was housed, making sure that she explained the ettiquette of each room and the 'do's and don'ts' of enjoying the club experience (which never happened at the other two we had tried). Then she asked us to be ABSOLUTELY honest about our sexual backgrounds with her. I went first, then Mrs Pornman filled her in about hers (which brought up a couple of things she hadn't told me before - Ho ho!!! ;-). Cathy (the owner - and not her real name) said that there was a couple already there who she thought it would be a good idea to introduce us to, to help. The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was afraid of what others really thought of me. I remembereddressing up for our date in one of my favorite outfits of the wholeexperience. She said I didn't have to, but in that moment I wanted to, alot. I remembered my pure emotional breakdown that came in the lockerroom, but also the way she pulled the first tube of lipstick across mylips and I couldn't get enough of that feeling, or her. Erin was like anaddiction. It didn't matter whether I had wanted to stop or not, becauseI couldn't. But when I had.
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