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She made me realize and learn that to truly understand how to think andfeel feminine. When I'm Olivia, I actually become female in my thoughtsand feelings and when I do I feel and become a different person.I realize that once I'm in dresses, heels, and makeup everythingchanges. I become much more relaxed and don't let anything bother me.I lose the desire to be in charge and really enjoy the submissivefeelings I have. Olivia actually enjoys feminine things, conversations,and living in the moment as a female. When I'm Olivia and we discussBob or other men I now actually think differently and encourage her tolive out her desires with Bob or anyone else knowing that she willalways be mine. My jealousy and worries disappear whenever Olivia isalive and with her.Writing all of my thoughts down here is a great relief and also helpingme to understand more of my deeper feelings. Putting my thoughts onpaper really helped me understand my desire to dress and spend more timeas Olivia.I. There was a picture on the wall. It was a younger woman, a much younger woman dressed in a pretty dress. ‘This was stupid,’ he thought, but he gave the picture a closer look. It looked a lot like Florence, or how Florence might have looked years ago. The more he looked around, the more junk, woman junk, he saw. He had no idea Florence was such a collector, a collector of such little things, tiny delicate little things, girlish, feminine things. Most of it looked cheap and old, things someone might have bought when they lacked the money to afford a more expensive version. He realized there was a side to Florence he’d never seen, never even knew existed. Yeah, he guessed she had her dreams once too. It made him a little sad. He rechecked the picture. She was never very pretty, but there was a kind of charm there, an innocence, an inner beauty. He wondered of she ever got lonely, wished maybe she’d done things differently, hadn’t been so slavishly devoted to his indifferent and.
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