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I was invited, but I didn’t feel like being in the car with my mom, who I didn’t know had also declined the invitation. I thought I would have the house to myself. I sat down at the computer in the living room and began searching the web for advice on incestuous fantasies and how to deal with them. Everything I read that should have helped me only made me hornier, though, so I left the PC and decided to watch TV instead.Ten minutes later I heard the wheels of the computer chair squeak, and turned to see my mom staring intently at the computer.“Oh, shit, you scared me, Mom! I didn’t know you were here.”“Obviously not, kiddo. You forgot to delete the history on the computer.”My heart turned into a lead weight when she said that, and I felt myself turn beet red and start to tremble.“Mom, I-”“You don’t have to say anything to me about it. In fact, I kind of suspected. I always have. I’ve noticed the way you look at me. To be honest, I always thought it was cute, but this…””Mom, I’m so. .. offers of marriage, of co-habitation, of one-nighters, of movie contracts, of other commercials. The S.P.C.A. wanted me to host a show on dog abuse. The New York Times asked me to do a nationally syndicated pet advice column. I found myself, at age 19, standing at the end of the rainbow... I was a hot property.I moved out of Langousta in September and bought a little fifteen room, split level house in the Valley. Unfortunately. Harold decided to pull up stakes and come along too. God, what an insect he is! He rationalised his tagging along on my bikini strings by saying he thought he stood a better chance of closing the Ram deal if he lived down here. I told him he was full of crap. That if the bozos wanted him, they'd sign him. What the hell difference did it make where he lived off season? I told him I thought they were just stringing him along, waiting to see what the next crop of college prospects looked like. Maybe I shouldn't have said it. He took it real hard... mostly.
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