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She curled up into a ball and rested her head on her knees. She wished that that dream wasn't real. But it was. And it hadn't been the first time. Most of her boyfriends either tried to control her or cheated on her. She didn't want to feel this; the sorrow, feeling like no one will treat you how you should be treated, and feeling worthless. She let the tears flow from her eyes as she let out everything she held inside. She almost wished she had someone to confide into, but after being betrayed by so many people, she preferred being alone. No one else to count on but herself. That's how it should be. She awoke in the middle of the night, the only light coming from the light poles reflecting in her window. She picked up her phone and looked at the time. 12:46 AM. She was never awake this late/early. She stretched out on the bed and stood up, putting on her sandals and went out for a walk. Since it was the weekend, as she walked past the room of the other people living there, she. This way, from where I come, I can survey it all, above the heads of the crowd that fills it.I have a good view at the stone tribune in front of the town hall, with the spiked statue of the Goddess on it, with all the implements of torture that await me, with the big gong, and with the torturer, dressed in his traditional hooded black garb, standing solemnly, looking like a statue himself.I feel a trace of pity for him — he will have to stand like this for many hours, through the heat of the noon, until by some sign that I do not know he will discern that the time has come, and then he will strike the gong and call me to him.Even as a child each year I had wondered how a man can stand almost motionless for so many hours, and then do his work, for many hours more.Maybe the Goddess gives him the strength that he needs.As I hope she will give it to me.They have seen me now, as I stand at the gate. The crowd is dense, there are two or three thousand people, men and women, it is not easy.
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