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”Lexus LS400A woman bought a new Lexus LS 400. She returned it to the dealer the next day, complaining that she couldn’t figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.“Watch this!” he said... “Nelson!”The radio replied, “Ricky or Willie?”“Willie!” he continued, and “On The Road Again” came from the speakers.The woman drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time she’d say, “Beethoven”, she’d get beautiful classical music, and if she said, “Beatles!” she’d get one of their awesome songs.One day, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed her new car, but she swerved in time to avoid them.“ASSHOLES!” she yelled... The French National Anthem began to play.Subject: Low oil?Now why didn’t I think of this before now?????A lot of folks can’t understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in America.Well, there’s a very simple answer.Nobody bothered to check the oil.We just didn’t know we were getting low.The reason for that is. ‘What was all the commotion about?’ ‘Nothing Becks, Mom was making breakfast, she broke her heel and fell. I carried her upstairs. There should still be enough food left for you.’ I sat and watched Rebeca slowly eat her food. Her cheerleading outfit was covered on the bottom by baggy class sweatpants she wore to keep warm, but I could see the top which was tight and low cut, shining spandex in the red color of our high school. Decorative accents were artfully arranged in green, the school’s other color. I didn’t want to look at Becks like I had our mother, but it was suddenly so hard. Despite her being my sister, and my best friend, I was captivated. I tried not to watch her heavy breasts rising and falling beneath the taut top. Averting my eyes from that sight, I caught a glimpse of her straight cinnamon hair woven into a gorgeous updo, with a few strands hanging loose, cheekily framing the bright green eyes and red lips set in her flawless face. As I caught her eyes I saw her.
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