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Come summer of 2011-We are at my cabin and we are doing roleplaying (as we always do) and I’m playing a criminal. I “k**nap” her and she kisses me in order to persuade me to let her go. Soon enough, games over and I’m fingering her. This time, she encouraged it, telling me how to do it or how fast/slow to do it. I’m getting into it, and then she gives me a handjob and I cum(for the first time). I didn’t know how to respond, and I thought I accidentally peed or something but she told me it happens when I’m happy(keep in mind, I’m from a sheltered christian family-I never got sex-ed until last year). Anyway, Sarah and I later that day filmed a short skit with our cousins that had the rough storyline of k**s scaring their parents while they're asleep. Sarah thought it would be more realistic if she took off her shirt and bra(yes, she was wearing a bra at age 11-she was very developed at that age(and still is)). So I took of my shirt too and we just played the part of a couple cuddling in. I cannot imagine how he has lived this long with so little love. What puts my back up is how easy he is with Draven, his companion of only a few short years. He will touch Draven's shoulder and he will allow himself to be drawn into that embrace. For Draven he will even flash a rare smile. I am not on the receiving end of his smiles. Yesterday's humour has given way to his usual morose nature. I am annoyed, I thought he would be more open with me.The surreal nature of the life I am now living takes hold when the phone rings and I answer it unthinkingly to hold a five minute conversation with a woman called Baal who is apparently a leopard. I hand the phone to Shamani and go and lie down.Shamani has to go out a while later and Draven paces around for a while before appearing in my doorway. I am lying on my bed, reading the only book I now have. It is a great comfort. I have read this book far too many times. It is an obsession and while I've never read anything else by this author I.
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