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"Great," I said. And yes he got it out of me what I had been up to. And yes he wanted a piece of the action, so to speak. That evening I told Hayley I had met Carl and related how much he fancied her. She loved attention and clearly liked Carl. "Bring him round one night," she said, and there was a distinct leer on her face. I started to get very turned on. I met Carl in the pub and briefed him about the kind of woman Hayley really was, as if he and all the other over-sexed boys she had taught for the past two years had not worked it out for themselves. "She's a whore," I explained, and I meant that as a compliment. "She loves being fucked by hard cock. Even though she is the same age as our mothers." Carl was visibly excited and urged me to drink up so we could get to the house. When we arrived, about 9.30, Hayley was in the kitchen on her own except for a gin bottle. She went straight up to Carl and kissed him full on the lips. "My other very sexy former student," she said, and. I would catch myself even weeks later thinking I had to put the fucking thing down. How in Hell had she convinced me that putting the toilet seat down was so imperative to my well-being in the first place? God knows, she was not a helpless woman! She could manage to rally an entire congregation, an entire community an entire fucking state against the public copulation of canines, but for some unknown reason, she could not manage to put down a fucking toilet seat before she sat on it. It was her fucking ass, for God's sake! But I digress... Within a few months of arriving in my new-found home, I had my routine down and I could feel the stresses and tensions start to leave my body. I didn't jump any longer when the crumbs from the toast hit the tabletop or the floor instead of a plate. I stopped getting the shakes if the crumbs stayed there a day or two. If a glass of iced tea left a wet ring on the tabletop, I just wiped it up. I didn't feel the need to strip and re-wax the whole damn.
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