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However after my experiences with my sister and Jenny, I kind of hoped to be able to make friends with another woman. When I saw two women dancing together, I would wonder if they were just friends, or friends with 'benefits.' I was always very feminine in my appearance and tastes, both my sister and Jenny were very feminine ladies too. I would try to visualize what they were wearing under their dresses, and would take in all aspects of their clothing. Stiletto shoes were becoming very popular, as were black nylons. For a few weeks it was a very lonely time, I tried to put my experiences with Rachael and Jenny out of my mind but it was impossible. I would dream of them and sometimes wake up extremely horny, and relieve myself by masturbating At the dances I had lots of men interested in me, and dated a few. Nothing lasted and I even gave in to my feelings, and enjoyed shag with a couple of them. I did enjoy the feeling of a man’s cock inside me, although it was never as fulfilling. ‘And what about you, Mom? Did you ever try to get your own life back after dad left?’ She looked down at her hands. ‘Probably not as much as I should have.’ She looked up at me with a piercing stare. ‘That’s why I want her to get on with her life. I know what happens. If you focus only on your child you wake up one day when they are gone and realize you’re alone… and lonely.’ I had never heard her talk this frankly about her own life before and she was making me feel bad. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t around more.’ She smiled. ‘Don’t be sorry. Mothers have always watched their children grow up and go off on their own. We want that. We want the best for our children and I could see that the military was very good for you. You grew up to be a man that every mother would be proud of.’ Tears came to her eyes so I went over and stood next to her chair and hugged her, holding her to my chest. She let me hold her for a minute and then pulled back. She wiped her eyes. ‘I haven’t been a recluse, you.
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