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She was right unfortunately. I never really let myself go in my relationships. I went into them knowing they would end and always saved myself from getting too badly hurt. The flip side, is that I never really let myself be myself. I always catered to their needs and desires. Well, not totally, but it was better to be passive and agreeable than argue. And most of the time, I didn't particularly care one way or another. That's part of the problem right there. I didn't care.Shit. Jenny must be right. I am a closed book. So if that's the problem, the obvious solution is let myself open up. To get beyond the simple expedient of being 'the boyfriend' and allowing them to see the real me, which is terrifying to contemplate.Why was that such a scary thought? Fear of rejection? Well, I should be used to that by now. Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my version of 'the. Held my ears and said “stupid, is that the reason you came in the early morning?”Me: miss miss miss, its paining. I have other places if you want to twist and turn. Leave my ear please.She left it and said “idiot, idiot, what were you doing on my bed?”I said “I was giving you a morning oral fuck miss.”Lana: ohh dear god. Please make his mouth shut.Me: I do pray to god everyday mam. Oh dear god please give me as many pussies as you and I can. This is my only wish for the rest of my life.Lana: shut up bujji, you have become a brat.Me: Maniac is much preferred miss.Lana: I see a very different guy in you these days bujji.Me: you should restate it like sexually hungry male biological entity ;).Lana: don’t talk nonsense bujji.Me: okay miss let us leave what ever happened. Shall we start exercise?Lana: why, what are you planning for exercise?Me: if you want me to be frank, I would like to suck and lick your pussy in sirshasana.Lana: oh god shut up bujji. Stop talking like that. If you.
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