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Simon, my brother had been in the nightclub with me just an hour ago and, as 2am approached and the nightclub prepared to close, we`d departed. Simon had met a stunning blonde at the club and had left with her saying something about "getting to know her better". He`d tossed me the keys to his tiny little flat knowing that getting a taxi to take me home was nigh on impossible at that time of night. So I was going to kip at his place whilst he accompanied his new lady to her house. The last thing I expected to see was his ex-girlfriend sprawled out on his sofa. I didn`t even realise that she even had a key.But here she was........ drunk was an understatement. Lying on her belly, her short denim skirt hiked up round her waist, her tiny, red G-string doing nothing to hide her full ass-cheeks, her long, slender legs sheathed in dark stockings. And her high-heels still on her feet. The contents of her handbag strewn across the laminated wooden floor as though she`d struggled to find her. I'd just have to work a little harder, that's all.I puttered around for a couple of hours, putting stuff away and trying to make the new place look like somebody actually lived there. The rest could wait for tomorrow.Sunday morning, I was up early. My muscles were a little stiff from yesterday's exertions, but after a breakfast of cold, leftover spaghetti, tenderly transported by me from the old place, I was feelin' good. I worked steadily for the entire morning, putting stuff away and shaping up the apartment.By 11 a.m., it was lookin' pretty trim. I wondered if my neighbors would be interested in lunch. What better way to become more intimately acquainted. Sunday lunch. Or, if they were late sleepers, Sunday brunch, even. There was an IHOP nearby.All right, so some people sneer at IHOP. I'm not one of them, OK?I remembered both girls' full names, and tried the telephone directory. They were both in there -- with the usual feeble female attempt at avoiding calls from perverts:"S..
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