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The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.He said, "Do you have any rye bread?" Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"He said, "I want 5 loaves."She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll be hard."He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this shit but me."Selling BiblesA pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from. But, er, Amy. I’m afraid, it’s out of the question.” And then Lucinda turned her head to face her reflection, ignoring Amy while she tidied up the lipstick on her mouth. Amy wasn’t that easily put off. “You can’t be meaning that! I mean, you were pretty much game on the stage. Why can’t we do the same thing more intimately and more privately? I know you’d enjoy it.” “Amy.” Said Lucinda firmly and not facing Amy at all. “What I do on stage and do for a living is one thing. And what I do when I’m not on stage and not doing it for a living is another. Please accept that, and I’m sure we’ll get on fine.” For the second time that evening, and for only the second time she could ever recall in her entire memory, Amy reddened from the humiliation of rejection. She attempted to say something, but her tongue, despite still tasting of Lucinda’s vulva, was somehow tied and she lost all ability for coherent response. Without a word, she wandered off to her own chair by the mirror and studied.
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