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As Sarah had revealed when we were on the run, she'd had simultaneous sexual relationships with both of us, maybe others too, and yet we knew nothing. She was amoral and yet totally judgemental.I became more and more convinced that Margaret had arranged the fatal mismatch as some kind of final revenge on us for daring to defy and reject her. She'd waited to take her vengeance, until I'd put her out of my mind behind more important issues, and then she'd struck, as viciously as she used to with the tawse, choosing the moment and the place when it hurt most.Suspicion bored into my mind like a flesh-eating bug, consumed me more and more, keeping me from my work. I desperately needed someone to blame - apart from myself - I couldn't, wouldn't let it go despite Felicity's increasingly desperate urging. So, in early January 1979, after the most miserable Christmas of my life, I decided that the only thing to do was to kill or cure my theory. I knew revenge wasn't the answer, but the truth. Kavi followed me. She asked, “What are you doing? Why are you acting strange all of a sudden?” I said, “We had SEX, Kavi. We were sleeping naked. What if our parents had found us? We would have ended up in trouble. I think we need to stop our little game.”She said, “Okay fine. Let’s stop this”. That was easier than I thought.(For readers who think that I am chickening out – yeah, I only initiated all these things with Kavi. It was good.. Nah it was great. I like everything about her. Her smell, her smile, face, lips, curves and all of her. But I feel that I may develop something for her which I may not able to get it the future. I don’t want to end up in a relationship where I definitely won’t get the girl. I don’t want to give the same disappointment to my sister too).That night, we split the beds after many years and slept separately without even uttering a word. And yesterday, we were having so much passion for each other.Things became so formal from there on. We spoke minimal.
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