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.." She broke off. I saw her eyes glistening in the firelight but she didn't let the tears fall. I knew the pain of our loss was still too strong for her to talk about it much. We'd lost Carla's brother, her husband and their infant son in an accident fifteen years before. My wife -- Carla's mom -- and I had been with Carla in her car while George, Steve and little Alex drove in George's SUV. We had been returning from a weekend at the Oregon coast when the SUV was slammed into a tree by a logging truck coming the opposite way. It had just screamed past us and Carla saw the wreck in her rearview mirror and skidded to a stop on the shoulder.They had all been killed instantly. Carla went nuts, of course. Dina and I weren't in much better shape, but we were not, after all, 19 years old and new mothers. We all went sort of crazy for a long time after that. Dina decided she needed to be on her own so she divorced me. It wasn't an angry divorce. We dissolved everything equably. I bought her. She needed more than a physical presence: she needed a more attentive one centred on her. Would Angela be the same, have the same needs but in a different way?There were weeks and months when he had to work long hours out in the fields, basically all daylight hours, and they were long in summer. She would be alone with no one to talk to, no one to confide in. Would she end up getting in the car and going back to her friends and gradually needing them more than she needed him?That was it. It wasn't the isolation in itself, it was the need for her female friends and in fact for the whole of her friendship circle. He could not compete. Then there was the unrelenting routine of farming life, the early rising every day, year in, year out. He recalled the conversation about getting away for holidays. He never went away for holidays. Elaine was very good and could keep things ticking over, but she was nearing the end of her schooling and would be leaving home. Who would look after the.
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