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I couldn't make her happy and setting her free was the best thing I could do for her. Even if it did hurt the both of us. It's better this way though. I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself nothing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't bring myself to want anything, to hope or even love.I don't deserve love anyway, not even love for myself. I did a horrible thing to someone else and deserve to suffer for it. Coincidentally, I've found a perfect way to do that. Sexual humiliation has become something I am rather good at taking and being used has taken over any of my previous sexual preferences.Finding the men is easy enough, especially when I tell them that I don't. It’s was a perfect winter morning in Kolkata. Like any other lazy guy I was reasoning with myself not to get up. I turned on my stomach adjusting my blanket and pressing my huge boner against the bed. Last night’s porn video was still lingering in my head, maybe because I slept without shagging. That job is yet to be done. I rubbed my dick against the mattress and thought about the scene where the white guy was throbbing his thick dick inside the Asian twink. It was already 10:30am and I had to get up, since no one was at home I’m supposed to do all the chores for myself.After almost an hour finishing the necessary morning stuffs I was sitting with coffee, the door bell rang. I went to get it getting a bit pissed, leaving my coffee on the table. But the sight wasn’t too bad. Two good looking Kashmiri guys standing at my door step with one huge black bag each on their shoulder. It’s quite common in this time of the year in Kolkata. People from Kashmir come here to sell the woolen.
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