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She was my best friend and this was a side of her I had never even seen before. I felt guilty about the way I had treated her in the past, going off with the lads and my previous girlfriends, leaving her to study alone in the library. However Ellen wasn’t finished with her story. ‘My lack of confidence didn’t stop me having urges though. My sex drive has always been high and I have had to satisfy it all these years with toys and videos. I felt so self conscious going into sex shops to buy my toys and videos, but the release they gave me helped to maintain my outward appearance as a sexless academic which is the only way I feel comfortable interacting with other people. Everyone apart from you, that is. I have fancied you for as long as I can remember and always wanted to do something about it, but I was so scared it would affect our friendship if you weren’t interested. I deluded myself that eventually we would get together, but now you are going to Canada and I might never see you. I melted into him even more and willed him to hold me tighter. I closed my eyes in bliss and just wished I could be near him anytime I wanted. But no, I had to wait till he wanted to reveal himself to me. My heart nearly crushed at the thought, I just thought why does he have to make it so difficult? He knows I want to be with him. I, being humiliated at myself, from school, teased, taunted, nearly raped, what was going to happen next?!? Oh dear god, it had to be stopped. This bitter sweet torture he was putting me though. Even though I loved him, it had to be stopped. The thoughts brought tears to my eyes. Hell, I might be falling in love with Sly! How couldn’t Sylar see, how this was affecting me? An unconscious tear fell down my cheek as whispered to him, ‘We need to talk . . .’ ‘About what?’ He murmured silkily, as if he thought nothing was wrong. Seemingly content, just to sit here on the cold hard roof. ‘About us . . .’ My voice trembled. I couldn’t see him, but I could feel.
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