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Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall...‘Big breaths, ‘ ... I instructed.‘Yes, they used to be, ‘ ... Replied the patient.Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle, WA3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.Not more than five minutes later, I heard herReporting to the rest of the family that he hadDied of a ‘massive internal fart.’Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg4. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’After a look of complete confusion she answered...‘ Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive.’Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis, OR5. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams ... To cover my embarrassmentI had unconsciously. After a few months of knowing Bennie, he finally graduated from school having apparently failed the previous year. He wasn’t stupid, but simply hated school. Shortly after he finished school, he got a job about one hundred miles away from the pub. Fortunately, Bennie would often be home for weekends, and it was always a delight to see him at the pub, when he wasn’t partying.One Sunday evening at around eight p.m, as I was passing the pub on my way back home, I was surprised to see Bennie standing at the door of the pub. Bennie informed me that he was only returning to work early the following morning, and invited me in for a drink. I had not visited the pub earlier on as usual, because Naomi, Bennie’s mom, had mentioned that she would be closing early and spending the night, in a neighbouring town. It was apparent that Bennie had already, had quite a few drinks prior to my arrival. As I started on my second drink, I daringly asked Bennie if the brandy bottle rumour was true..
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