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Peter at the Pearly Gates.‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’ St. Peter asked.‘Well, I can think of one thing, ‘ the cowboy offered.‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman.I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen.So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the shit out of all of you!’St. Peter was impressed, ‘When did this happen?’‘Couple of minutes ago.’These two are compliments of J & BGRANDMAA man moves into a nudist colony.He receives a letter from his Grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo. He’s. Her hands were by her sides, fingers wiggling as if she couldn’t wait for whatever came next. I smirked. Her eyes widened when I picked up the thick, fluffy mittens, but once I was in front of her, she dutifully held out her hands and let me pull the mittens over them and tie them up. She had to make a fist to fit her hand inside, and I noticed goosebumps on her arms. Her helplessness was already getting to her. Perfect! “You can take off the jeans yourself,” I told her while I turned around and walked back to the table. I picked up my wine and sat back on the couch, folding one leg over the other and watching her. I was curious how she would manage that feat without much help from her mitten-encased fingers. Her jeans were tight. She had apparently done this before, because she skillfully got down onto her knees, then laid on her side to avoid aggravating the tail sticking from her bum. I sipped from the wine and smiled. I had pictured so many things in advance, but this hadn’t been.
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