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Finally, Beth couldn’t take it anymore.She was almost crying as she looked at me and said, “John, I have seen boats like this before and I know they cost around $400,000! How can you afford something like this as a free-lance writer?”I tried to explain that it actually wasn’t new, so I’d gotten a very good price from the previous owners.That was when Christy piped up, “Yeah, he only paid $345,288.23!”I was completely stunned. Just off the top of my head, I couldn’t have told you the exact price – not down to the cents.Now Beth actually is crying, “Oh My God, John, you’re a drug dealer aren’t you? That’s the only way you can afford your house and a boat like this.”Now I’m still trying to figure out how Christy knew the boat cost $345,288. And 23 cents!“Don’t be silly, Beth,” Christy said, “He paid for it from his book royalties.”If I was stunned before, now I’m shocked beyond belief. I mean, almost heart-attack inducing shock.Beth: “Book royalties? What book royalties?”Me: mouth open,. He then understood his assistant's question about his'garage door.' He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Jaguar parked in there?' She smiled and said,"No, I didn't. All I saw was an old tired minivan with two flat tires..."Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?" Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just pooped my pants."A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:'So I hear you're getting married?''Yep!''Do I know her?''Nope!''This woman, is she good looking?''Not really.''Is she a good cook?''Naw, she can't cook too well.''Does she have lots of money?''Nope! Poor as a church mouse.''Well, then, is she good in bed?''I don't know.''Why in.
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