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Which one is married?’The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, ‘Well, I suppose the one that’s gobbled down the top and sucked the cone.’To which little RALPHY replied, ‘The correct answer is ‘the one with the wedding ring on, but I like your thinking.’LITTLE RALPHY ON MATHLittle RALPHY returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.‘Why’ asks the father?‘The teacher asked ‘How much is 2 x 3?’ ‘‘I said 6”, replies RALPHY.‘But that’s right!’ says his dad.‘Yeah, but then she asked me ‘How much is 3 x 2?’‘What’s the fuckin’ difference?’ asks the father.‘That’s what I said!’LITTLE RALPHY ON ENGLISHLittle RALPHY goes to school, and the teacher says, ‘Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?’RALPHY says ‘Mas-tur-bate.’Miss Rogers smiles and says, ‘Wow, little RALPHY, that’s a mouthful... ‘Little RALPHY says, ‘No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob.’LITTLE RALPHY ON GRAMMARLittle RALPHY was sitting in. Augustine. "You can guess and I'll tell you if you're hot or cold," Paula said, stubbornly unwilling to relinquish her father's attention."Was it something he didn't do? Did he not ask you to dance?" He asked, trying to humor his daughter."No father, Sammy wouldn't do anything like that to me, would you Sammy?" Paula said, looking at me, adoringly. "He dances with me whenever I want him to, don't you Sammy?"I sat stiffly in my seat, neither nodding nor shaking my head, staring straight ahead, wishing our food would arrive and we could stop playing twenty questions."I don't think Sammy is comfortable with this conversation. Why don't you just tell us what he did so we can talk about something else," Mr. Augustine suggested."NO, you have to guess," Paula insisted rather loudly. I looked around at the other diners. There were a few parents of students from both schools sitting nearby. I wondered if I could hitch a ride with someone from my neighborhood but I didn't see anyone I knew.The.
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