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......Ein Gedanke taucht aus den Tiefen meiner Verzweiflung auf. Soll ich aufgehen?Soll ich............., soll ich mein Leben beenden?............N E I N !!!!............Die Katze in mir will nicht diesen Weg gehen, sie will leben.Und der Mensch in mir?Er ist verzweifelt, zornig, voller Hass. Hass auf diejenigen, die das aus mir gemacht haben.Zorn und Hass, zwei starke Emotionen verdr?ngen beim Menschen die Verzweiflung und den Wunsch nach Aufgabe.............N E I N !!!!............Aufgeben ist keine L?sung, es ist eine falsche L?sung.Mensch und Tier schliessen sich zusammen, der Hass und der Lebenswille schliessen einen unheimlichen Packt.Der Verstand gewinnt allm?hlich wieder die Oberhand.Die Verzweiflung wird durch den Wunsch nach Rache verdr?ngt.Ein Gedanke nimmt Gestalt an:Dumme Kuh! Du musst weiter! Die werden dich verfolgen und du wirst wieder k?mpfen m?ssen. Aber hier ist f?r den Kampf ein schlechter Platz.Also Mieze, los heb deinen Arsch hoch und gehe weiter!Ich erhebe mich. As always, my hits, even in batting practice, were gentle liners to the outfield alleys. As always, I used batting practice to hone my skills at "placing" batted balls in pre-selected areas of right- and left-centerfield, or down the lines.Everything seemed normal. My vision, certainly, was normal. But I had no confidence that I could perform in a game situation. The most-recent bean-ball incident had succeeded in once again messing up my mind.Sandy had decided to come to the game, even though we both knew I probably wouldn't play. After taking my cuts in batting practice, I motioned to her in the stands to come down to the edge of the field to talk to me. By now, Sandy was a familiar figure to the senior usher who guarded the steps that approached the Orioles' dugout. He offered no resistance."You were hitting the ball OK, there," Sandy observed."Yeah. And, and that's real meaningful, because our batting-practice pitcher is wingin' 'em in there something fierce! He's deceptive! And.
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